Decadent Darkness

Within less than a week I gulped down both Gillian Flynn novels. What an amazing writer she is. Unbelievably twisted story lines, mentally mangled characters, twists and turns around every rugged corner...and not to mention her metaphors. I have never read metaphors and similes like this woman's. I'm pretty sure at one point she actually pointed out the irony of the lack of salad at a voluptuous salad bar by calling the lettuce a "greasy, pale afterthought." Speaking of irony, let's take a gander at this morsel of a woman...

Who new that such a cute little thing would produce this:

And then this:

What a creepy little devil she is. While both novels were amazing, I actually preferred Dark Places. But here are a few more bits of her insane writing abilities, all derived from Sharp Objects:

She is explaining the horror that is a pig slaughter house, and she describes it as this: "The smell isn' t like water or air; it's a solid. Like you should be able to cut a hole in the stink to get some relief. You can't."

A couple of paragraphs later, she says of the slaughter house: "Even the idea of this practice I find repulsive. But the sight of it actually does something to you, makes you less human. Like watching a rape and saying nothing."

When explaining the protagonist's psychotic mother, she says it like this: "...she'd parade me into town, smiling and teasing me, tickling me as she spoke with people on the sidewalks. When we got home, she'd trail off to her room like an unfinished sentence..."

The next paragraph begins, "I have one memory that catches in me like a nasty clump of blood."

And lastly, this is one paragraph she wrote that I thought was hilarious, dark, and just brilliant. The protagonist was interviewing a father whose daughter was a victim in the small-town murders, and she described the grieving mother as this: "I was hoping Betty Nash would disappear. Literally. She was so insubstantial, I could imagine her slowly evaporating, leaving only a sticky spot on the edge of the sofa. But she lingered, her eyes darting between me and her husband before we even began speaking. Like she was winding up for the conversation. The children, too, hovered about, like little blonde ghosts trapped in a limbo between indolence and stupidity. The pretty girl might do alright. But the piggy middle child who now waddled dazedly into the room, was destined for needy sex and snack-cake bingeing."

I want to pattern my writing after Gill. I love her darkness and edginess; I crave her sarcasm and repartee. I covet her engaging, plunging story lines....so psychological thrillers it is...

Any ideas of a repulsive, jaw-dropping story line? Cuz I got nothin...

Hallow-Harmless

Ever since I was a child, Halloween and everything that surrounded it filled my little heart with excitement and anticipation. The pumpkins, the apples, the changing leaves, the cooling weather...I've always loved fall and I've always loved the coming of winter.

Trick-or-treating rated right up there with Christmas. Every year, my cousins Kenny, Steve, Michael and I would meet at Grandma's house, donned in our spectacular costumes (they were always some sort of superhero or Simpson's character and I, of course, was some form of royalty), and Grandpa would make us stand there for hours and take pictures. I see now that it probably would have been mere seconds, had Kenny cooperated and kept his eyes open. I firmly believe he cheated me out of handfuls of candy...

We filled pillowcases. Forget those stupid pumpkin pails; those were for amateurs. PILLOWCASES, my friend. Then when we were finished in Grandma's neighborhood, we would drive to a rural part of our little town where the real treasures were. No one knew of this treasure trove; a remote area of Linden Rd. waited for their lone trick-or-treaters every year, to fill our sacks with King-sized snickers, Reese's peanutbutter cups, and the likes. Then we would go home, watch "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown," and inspect each little piece of candy for any signs of tampering. I never found one.

Even my church hosted a halloween party at my youth leader's house. I remember being 8 or 9, and going to his house to play games, go on a haunted hayride, bob for apples, and play Smear the Queer (yes, that was a harmless football game in the 80's that was not derrogatory towards homosexuals). It wasn't until later that I learned that Halloween was (gasp) a satanic holiday that should be shunned by all Christians, and all those who participate in such a tradition should be spat upon by all Christians.

Check it out, folks. I don't care about the history of Halloween. Besides, it's irrelevant, because Christmas also began as a pagan holiday. Have your doubts? Compare the stories. Check out the links here and here. If you're honest with yourself, Christmas began more as a pagan holiday than Halloween. Read the stories. There is nothing about sacrificing children or killing people involved in Halloween. That aside...

People don't like Halloween because it involves witches and we shouldn't blend the wickedness of sorcery with the innocence of child's play. This is also why Christians are in an uproar about Harry Potter. If this is truly your conviction, then fine. But be consistant. I had better not go into your house and find Snow White, The Wizard of Oz, or any such fairytale adorned on your shelves. They all involve witches as well, and I'll go so far as to say the Wizard of Oz is the worst one of all. "There are good witches and bad witches" is the most erroneous quote I've ever heard regarding witchcraft. Let your children use their imagination! Have you ever read Harry Potter?! Those books are ingenious. They are clean and contain nothing blasphemous. It's a battle of Good vs. Evil, and isn't that the most basic outline of any story? And isn't Good victorious in the end? How much closer can you get to the image of Christ? Don't be ignorant; don't argue about subjects you know nothing of. Pick up a book and read it before casting your stones.

I grew up playing imaginary games that involved the destruction of witches, participating in all forms of Halloween, and watching all the movies that involved witches as the bad guys. And may I be bold enough to say that I turned out okay. And let me also say that I took my boys trick-or-treating last week and I'm excited for them to form the same traditions and memories that I have of Halloween.

People need to just chillax.