Just Nod and Smile...

Let's talk about when I went to see Third Eye Blind despite a massive throat infection and 102 degree temperature.

So about a month ago I went to see Third Eye Blind despite a massive....whatever. I promise that from here on out, I will continue sneaking little doses of 3eb in your coffee instead of offering you Stephan's head on a silver platter.

Last week I was leaving my house to go to work at 6:30 am, when I stepped outside and no sooner did I shut the door that I saw a massive black frog sitting in the corner of my entryway. He was terrible. He just sat there, staring at the wall, all Blair-witch-like, and I took off running to my car. I didn't even lock the front door. When I got to my car, I felt millions of frogs crawling all over me. I jumped in and proceeded to have a panic attack, writhing around and uttering strange noises, and I may have even shed a few tears. When I was finally able to pull out of the driveway, I looked back at my front door, and the frog wasn't there. I screamed. He couldn't have just disappeared; clearly he must have been on me. Somewhere.

He wasn't on me. But I still hate him.

Don't Bother Googling It....

...as if you were going to anyways.

Time tick tick ticks after me
My mp3 is out of juice
I wrote a song for you, but what's the use
How did we get knocked so loose?
Knocked so loose?
Someone I swear I'll never be
Who trades his dreams for security
And walks this city blindly.
Lately it's a little hard for me to see.
Lately it's a little hard for me to believe.

And it's all disappearing,
And it all falls apart.
And it seems like the ending
Is a lot like the start.

Nature has its own rules
Like gravity crushing me,
And liars are robbed of memory,
Lately it's a little hard for me to believe.
At least you left a mark on me.

But I think there's a reason,
At least there's a sign.
And all that we call chaos,
I will say is by design,
But I'm just lying.

What you need is a sharp knife so
You can come back now from an all-time low
Seems like I'm the only one.
I wish I was a sharp knife,
Swing that blade right through my life.
Careful, you could hurt someone
I wish I was a sharp knife
To Cut.

Some new friend can you hear this,
Can you return to fearless?
Merry pranksters one and all,
Walk that devil down the hall

Yes it's all disappearing,
And we should all just go along.
And it all would be so easy,
If we could say just let it be,
But that's not me.

What you need is a sharp knife so
You can crawl out of an all-time low.
Seems like I'm the only one
I wish I was a sharp knife
Swing that blade right through my life.
Careful you could hurt someone
I wish I was a sharp knife, a sharp knife
To Cut.

Ok so I'm fully aware that his version of "It seems like the ending is a lot like the start" is not symbolic nor even adjacent to my editing problems, but I'm always amazed at how his lyrics mirror my life. Whether he's taking the words out of my mouth, or ironically describing my mood. What is it, Stephan? Are you stalking me? Because it's totally fine if you are.

A Sharp Knife

That's the name of a song on the new 3rd Eye Blind CD, Ursa Major. I don't think I need to express my love for them; their lyrics are riddled throughout my blog. Only a true fan would know that, though, and I'm guessing I've sparked a fun rendition of "I Spy" in your brain. Good luck.

I'm convinced that Stephan Jenkins is a lyrical genius. Sharp Knife is a fantastic song, and even though it's not even my favorite song on the CD, there is one line from there that is resounding in my head this morning, and it's this:

And it seems like the ending, is a lot like the start.

And while many a line from that song strike a resounding chord with me, this one is my vice for many reasons, but the main reason is because this is my struggle with my book right now. I've rewritten my first chapter about four times now, perhaps more. I think I've finally got a basic template. I've had two people read it now, and both have said the same thing: "Your first paragraph is awkward."

BAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finished the 7,329th edit this week, and decided I hated my last paragraph. It's been nixed, and I'm actually losing sleep over this. Even now, I have things to do. So I'm not even going to try to end this in a witty or clever manner.

Contentions with a Beautiful Autumn Leaf

This is the time of year I get really homesick. While the rest of the world is experiencing a refreshing change of weather and glorious views of blazing treetops, I'm stuck here in a record heat wave of 90 degrees in miserable Miami. I don't care what anyone says, this is NOT the United States. I don't know what this place is. It's just so stagnant. And hot. It's just HOT here.

Anyways I was having a crappy day. It took me ten minutes to get home (which doesn't sound bad, but I live a good .75 miles from my work) thanks to the wonderful Miami traffic, and on the way Robbie peed everywhere.

How does one fight this?

So when we got home I walked up to the front door and this little critter was sitting right on my doorstep.

My, my. What a pleasant surprise.

I don't know where it came from. Lord knows the leaves don't change colors down here; Lord knows there aren't even real leaves on the trees down here. There aren't any trees in my front yard, save a palm tree, so I'm pretending that this little guy plucked himself from a Sassafrass tree in Michigan and fluttered all the way down here to see me. I feel terrible, not being home when he first knocked on my door; I mean surely he's not used to this humidity. I'm also pretending he brought this message along with him...

Dear Traci:
I know you are frustrated and you are really missing Michigan. I hope you know we all miss you, too. The economy sucks up there, but it sure is beautiful.

So how is everything down here? When are you going to leave this place and come back to us? I mean, what do you do down here? Does it always look like this? I mean it might as well be July right now. It could even be January; I just don't know.

Wow. It really sucks to be you. I am so glad I'm not you. You might as well just kill yourself.

Love, Yellow Leaf.

It's fine. He'll be sorry when he wakes up one day and he has a chonga sitting on his doorstep.

Convenient Evolution

Oh wow, I guess I'm really bad at this. But I'm back...for now. Who knows, I'll probably take another hiatus soon, and blame it on the fact that I'm INTP.

That's right, I've taken the Myers-Briggs personality test, and I'm INTP. I make up less than 3-5% of the population. I don't know if that makes me unique or a prime candidate for mental disorders. Bah, I'm pretending it's making me unique - AND, who's surprised that I'm introverted? Come on, guys, I've known all along I'm an introvert, and now that I'm officially diagnosed as one, I'm using it as an excuse to finally voice my dislike for my fellow humans.

Nah, I kid, I kid. I like people. Some of them. Sometimes. But anyways, due to this discovery (along with the other things I discovered about myself via this test), I've decided to take the initiative and humor evolutionists. I'm going to go ahead and take the plunge by morphing society into the next level of evolving. I mean, we started off as apes, right? Then cavemen, then humans...then we stopped. Why stop there??? Come on, human beings are overrated.

Allow me to introduce to you the next link - ePeople. Right? Virtual people! How awesome is that?! This is great news for introverts like me, who oftentimes prefer solitude, but ultimately have to tolerate social settings. This is where ePeople come in! Do I want to talk to the person who sat kitty-corner from me in freshman psychology class? Not even a little bit. I haven't talked to him/her in 8 years. Do I have to? Well, sometimes...if and when our paths cross. Now I can avoid this by messaging them on facebook! Voila! I can now have a relationship with Amelia What's-Her-Name-and-I-Can't-Even-Tell-You-Her-Married-Name-Because-I-Don't-Even-Know-Or-Care-If-She's-Married-Or-Not right here on the internet without ever having to get dressed and go to a restaurant to spend time with her. Boom. Amelia is no longer an entity; she's an ePerson. And my best friend.

And I'm a Creationist.