Channel 129: The Homosapian Channel

I would love to make a National Geographic video on the mating instincts of humans. It really is comical. I mean, animals are natural, instinctive, and straight to the point. You know, hunting their prey, knowing (and accepting) their places in the circle of life...What humans do is ridiculous and so saturated with arrogance, that it's not even genuine, and not a lick of it is natural. It's a joke. Basic scenario as follows: eh-hem. Boy sees Girl, and his curiosity is spiked. He begins sniffing around her, which Girl notices and starts puffing up because after all, Boy is interested in her, and therefore, she must be the most desirable and hottest female homosapian on the planet. Boy sees that Girl is enjoying his attention, and he disguises himself with a humble facade. "Girl doesn't want an arrogant SOB. She wants something down to earth and someone to treat her like royalty," he says to himself, knowing full well that nothing about him is down to earth, and he truly is just an arrogant SOB. Nothing more, nothing less. So he begins persuing Girl, doing sweet little things for her, giving her gifts, surprises, etc. Girl's pride swells to all new heights because Boy Wants Her. Boy snickers. He knows what he's doing, even behind his humble facade. Boy stays dilligent until Girl falls into his trap. Sometimes, this is the end. Boy moves on. But there are rare cases where Boy and Girl make it official. Statuses begin shifting. Boy owns Girl, and subtley removes his humble facade. In the meantime, Girl has fallen head over heals for Boy, and she notes his changes and doesn't like them. She thinks she's going to lose him. Her pride plummets while his is on the rise, and soon the tables have turned completely. Girl is chasing Boy around, striving to keep him, and Boy has won his prize and feels the need to flaunt his talent. Because after all, Boy persued and obtained, and therefore, must be the most desirable and hottest male homosapian on the planet.

Alright, I have my script. Now I just need my video camera and a couple of unsuspecting jackasses.