Contentions with a Beautiful Autumn Leaf

This is the time of year I get really homesick. While the rest of the world is experiencing a refreshing change of weather and glorious views of blazing treetops, I'm stuck here in a record heat wave of 90 degrees in miserable Miami. I don't care what anyone says, this is NOT the United States. I don't know what this place is. It's just so stagnant. And hot. It's just HOT here.

Anyways I was having a crappy day. It took me ten minutes to get home (which doesn't sound bad, but I live a good .75 miles from my work) thanks to the wonderful Miami traffic, and on the way Robbie peed everywhere.

How does one fight this?

So when we got home I walked up to the front door and this little critter was sitting right on my doorstep.

My, my. What a pleasant surprise.

I don't know where it came from. Lord knows the leaves don't change colors down here; Lord knows there aren't even real leaves on the trees down here. There aren't any trees in my front yard, save a palm tree, so I'm pretending that this little guy plucked himself from a Sassafrass tree in Michigan and fluttered all the way down here to see me. I feel terrible, not being home when he first knocked on my door; I mean surely he's not used to this humidity. I'm also pretending he brought this message along with him...

Dear Traci:
I know you are frustrated and you are really missing Michigan. I hope you know we all miss you, too. The economy sucks up there, but it sure is beautiful.

So how is everything down here? When are you going to leave this place and come back to us? I mean, what do you do down here? Does it always look like this? I mean it might as well be July right now. It could even be January; I just don't know.

Wow. It really sucks to be you. I am so glad I'm not you. You might as well just kill yourself.

Love, Yellow Leaf.

It's fine. He'll be sorry when he wakes up one day and he has a chonga sitting on his doorstep.